Welcome to Hell

I have officially entered the realm of 'bloggers'. I guess tradition dictates that my first blog introduces me to the world wide web. There's not much to tell, unless you count that for the past four years of my life I have visited every medical specialist on the planet...check that...every specialist EXCEPT a gynecologist!! Not one could seem to tell what was wrong with me, so they would send me home with a little white pill, cross their fingers and say, "I hope this works!" None of them did, and after several trips to the hospital I just about gave up on the medical system. Then I met an angel in the form of a plump German woman. Dr. Marietta Bergdorf. Say that ten times fast...She practiced medicine in Germany for close to twenty years and then hopped across the pond to find that if she was to work in the United States it would have to be under the title of 'alternative medicine'. Well I saw her for several months and miraculously she seemed to fix all my problems. I was healthy again. A lean, mean, healthy workin' machine! I felt great for a few months. Then early in September 2007 I donned my tool belt to head out for work and something didn't feel right. I decided to lay down for a minute to see if I could start to feel a little better and here we are a year later. I never did get feeling better, in fact I got feeling quite a lot worse! Obviously Dr. Bergdorf's magical cure wasn't so magical...so after seeing many more specialists the past year, I have once again given up on traditional medicine (I should have stuck with Dr. Bergdorf) and turned to the 'Ph Miracle'. This week marks the start of my ten day liquid fast, which includes, exclusively, vegetables. And not even all vegetables, only the kinds your mother tells you to eat cause "they're good for you", but the taste tells quite a different story. Having heard stories of what lies ahead of me I have concluded that, if I live through this week, which seems unlikely, I should be able to run faster than a speeding bullet and leap tall buildings in a single bound. In all seriousness I am excited for the weeks to come, I'm confident this may be the answer to the health questions I've been searching for!